The best speech since Maggie

This distinction belongs to the speech Theresa May delivered on Brexit, which admittedly isn’t saying a lot.

The four prime ministers we’ve had since Margaret Thatcher’s tenure were easily among the worst half-dozen in British history, failing on every criterion of character, morality and intellect.

Their speeches and, more important, deeds reflected their deficiencies with remarkable consistency. I can’t recall offhand a single speech any of them made that could be remotely described as sound, clear and decisive. Vacuous, vacillating and vapid are the alliterative adjectives springing to mind much more readily.

Mrs May’s speech undoubtedly merits the first set of modifiers rather than the second, and that’s a good start. Of course, one should judge politicians on their deeds rather than words, but such speeches go a long way towards blurring the line of demarcation between the two.

Dead are the feeble puns based on Mrs May’s name (such as “may or may not”). To use Donald Trump’s favourite metaphors, the cards have been dealt, the chips are down, and there’s no bluffing.

We’re definitely leaving the EU, shaking its toxic dust off our feet. Though not legally bound by the Brexit referendum, Mrs May (originally a lukewarm Remainer herself) feels bound by it morally and, no doubt more important for her, politically.

Leaving the EU also means leaving the Single Market, no may or may not about it. It also means countering any punitive economic measures the EU is likely, nay guaranteed, to impose. Since Britain’s post-exit success may start those European dominoes toppling one by one, the EU may well cut off its nose in the vain hope of keeping its body.

However, still being unable to ignore the Donald Trump course on the English language, I’d say that we have a strong hand in any unfolding game. Not quite a royal flush but perhaps a three of a kind, which beats the EU’s low pair (everything about the EU is low).

However, it says a lot about the modern world that Mrs May mentioned the possible lowering of corporate taxes only as an extreme counterattacking measure, rather than an essential economic policy.

One doesn’t have to be a professional economist (in fact, nowadays such credentials are actually a disqualifying circumstance) to realise that business would thrive if doing business became cheaper. It takes woolly economic thinking to believe that high tax rates translate into high tax revenues.

A 30 per cent tax on 100 produces 30, while a 10 per cent tax on 1,000 yields 100, and it’s astounding how many economists can’t get their heads around this simple arithmetic. Arthur Laffer once constructed a scientific-looking curve on what is basic common sense.

Emmanuel Macron (who terrifyingly is making headway in France’s polls) threatened a post-Brexit Britain with the dire status of a Jersey or Guernsey. I’ve always said we should take that as a promise, not a threat. Turning the UK into the world’s greatest tax haven would put Great back into Britain, and I’d suggest we should do that regardless of how pliable or intransigent the EU will be.

But Mrs May can’t be expected to be as radical as that no matter what. It already took more courage than one expects from a politician to mention such a business model as the sword of Damocles ready to decapitate the EU.

The speech has already produced one tangible and welcome result: the eurocrats are squirming and running scared. Such agitation is bound to make people babble gibberish, which psychological observation has been confirmed by Guy Verhofstadt, chief negotiator in the European parliament.

He said: “May’s clarity is welcome but the days of UK cherry-picking and Europe à la carte are over. Threatening to turn the UK into a deregulated tax haven will not only hurt British people, it is a counterproductive negotiating tactic.”

To paraphrase what Mary McCarthy once said about Lillian Hellman, every word in that statement is nonsense, including ‘and’ and ‘but’.

Offering an equitable trade treaty can under no circumstances be considered cherry-picking: it’s simply an invitation to fair play and an implied threat to retaliate against unfair play. Cherry-picking would be leaving the EU, while staying in the Single Market and the ECJ, which Mrs May specifically said we wouldn’t do.

It takes the fundamental economic illiteracy one expects from an EU apparatchik to believe that attracting business from all over the world would ‘hurt British people’. And Mrs May’s isn’t just a productive but the only possible negotiating tactic. One can only negotiate on one’s own two feet, rather than lying supine, Dave-style.

One wishes she could capitalise on this decisive speech and call a snap general election. Judging by the disarray in the Labour Party, Mrs May would increase her parliamentary majority and get rid of the stigma of not having won a popular vote.

More important, she would be justified in interpret the vote as a clear mandate for her negotiating stance against the EU, thereby defanging any possible dissent in either House. This, even if she wisely refrains from turning the election into a Brexit referendum Mark II.

There, I’ve done it: for once I’ve found something good to say about a politician. I can only hope Mrs May doesn’t make me eat my hat. Tweed is rather indigestible.