If at first you don’t succeed…

…vote, and vote again. This is the message delivered urbi et orbi by Justine Greening, MP.

In Miss Greening’s view, since the Brexit deal pushed by Mrs May is a dud that satisfies neither the Leavers nor the Remainers, we should have a second referendum.

“The only solution is to take the final Brexit decision out of the hands of deadlocked politicians, away from the backroom deals, and give it back to the people,” she wrote in The Times.

Now Justine is a self-acknowledged Remainer. A few days before the 2016 referendum, she wrote: “My view, on balance, is that we are better off staying in the EU.” Assuming that her position hasn’t shifted since then, she must believe that a second referendum will go her way.

What if it doesn’t? What if the British people again vote to leave that abomination by the same or an even wider margin? Will she and her fellow Remainers accept the result? Or will they continue their underhanded sabotage?

Anyone with even a cursory knowledge of British politics will know that exactly the same issues will surface again. The apparat, to which Miss Greening is a faithful servant, will stop at nothing, no matter how dishonest or even treasonous, to stay in the good books of their fellow European apparatchiks.

What will happen then? Shall we be reduced to the level of inept pupils who have to re-sit their exams? Shall we be asked to vote again and keep doing so until we get it right?

The other possibility is equally fetching. What if the Remain vote carries the day the second time around? I’d suggest that the Leavers among us will be within their right to demand we go two out of three. And after that the losing side may demand best out of five and so on, ad infinitum.

A fascinating prospect, isn’t it? Of course this second possibility is unlikely: the charade will stop once the apparat has got the result it wants. But still, fair’s fair: if we’re now political children, we should play infantile games by infants’ rules.

And speaking of Miss Greening’s views on the referendum expressed a few days before it was held, this is what else she wrote: “It’s a one-off vote. There’s no re-doing it if we change our minds. We’re all going to have to live with the result…”

I realise that it’s not only tactless but downright daft to remind politicians of all those 180-degree turnarounds they perform within a short time. You don’t expect them to have real beliefs, principles or, God forbid, philosophies, do you?

Still, there’s something perversely satisfying in doing so. Since we can’t have any positive emotions about this pathetic lot, schadenfreude is the best we can do.

It has to be said with some chagrin that Miss Greening’s amoral cretinism stands out even against that human background. For example, when she was still Education Secretary, she came out as an open lesbian, a decision she described in glowing terms: “[It’s] the best thing I’ve done in many, many, many a year. And actually it gets better every day.”

Considering the catastrophic state of Miss Greening’s educational bailiwick, one would have been justified to expect her to do better things than owning up to a sexual perversion.

And even now, when she’s still an influential Conservative (!) backbencher, one would hope she could offer something other than open sabotage as a solution to the country’s political crisis.

No, Miss Greening, a second referendum isn’t “the only solution”. It’s no solution at all. Calling for it suggests that this objectionable woman is still disgruntled about losing her frontbench post when Mrs May unceremoniously threw her out.

Add to this her apparatchik longings coupled with a rather feeble intellect, and Miss Greening’s motivation is clear. Since a second referendum, whichever its result, will certainly lead to Mrs May’s resignation, Miss Greening will have her revenge. And if Britain stays in the EU, that’ll be a welcome bonus.

However, I do agree with two of her beliefs, one explicit, the other implicit. Second only to Major’s signing of the Maastricht Treaty, the ‘deal’ favoured by Mrs May is the most awful abuse of foreign policy in recent history – and I include Munich in this assessment.

It also ought to be clear to any serious observer that Mrs May is in over her head: she has none of the intellectual, moral and character qualifications for her job. If Miss Greening still held a cabinet post, she’d violently disagree with that, but I’m comforted by the knowledge that now she agrees.

Hence “the only solution” should be twofold. First, replace Mrs May with a real statesman qualified for the post.

Second, have him invoke the Royal Prerogative and, in compliance with the will of the people, get Britain out of the EU effective immediately. As I understand the constitution, the new PM would have no obligation to go to the Commons for this.

A perfect solution, isn’t it? Well, there’s an obvious hitch, or rather two hitches. One is to find such a statesman in Parliament. Two is to move him into that nice Georgian house in Downing Street.

Hence I realise that my solution is a pie in the sky: it’s not going to happen. But we must indulge our wild fantasies at times. Life would be too dull without it.