For once I agree with Muslims

Poor Andrew Moffat is in trouble – this, though he has been shortlisted for a $1,000,000 prize as one of the world’s 10 best teachers.

Mr Moffat is assistant head master at a Birmingham primary school, where 99 per cent of the pupils are Muslim. From this it logically follows that their parents are Muslim too.

Another logical inference from such demographics is that the parents demand that the school stop teaching their offspring “how to be gay”. One would think it’s better than teaching them how to be morose, but that’s not the kind of gaiety at issue.

You see, Mr Moffat, who is himself homosexual, is the creator, champion and, more to the point, practitioner of the No Outsiders programme that uses a whole library of books to teach children as young as four that there’s nothing perverse about perversion.

One of the compulsory textbooks, creatively entitled Mommy, Mama and Me, is devoted to a loving lesbian family. The spelling of ‘Mommy’, as opposed to ‘Mummy’, points at the American origin of this volume, but then true love knows no geographic bounds.

The sex of ‘Me’ isn’t clear from the title, but it’s relevant. For, if the Me is female, she can use her parents as a visual aid in her preparation for real life. Perhaps in due course some on the job training may also come in handy – and don’t you just hate unintended puns.

Other books in the programme include King and King (a Cinderella boy meeting his fair prince), And Tango Makes Three (about male penguins forming a family) and My Princess Boy (about a transvestite).

These are the only titles mentioned in the article I’ve read on the subject, but I hope there are others, expanding the boundaries of diversity.

How about Dad, Daddy and Dickey? Mummy, Mastiff and Me? Mummy Who Used to Be Daddy, Daddy Who Used to Be Mummy, and a Slightly Confused Me? Possibilities are endless, and it would be a shame for any of them to remain unrealised.

Actually, the educational standards at Mr Moffat’s school must be unusually high if four-year-olds are capable of perusing such material. Let’s hear it for universal literacy: if children can read, it doesn’t matter what they read.

Of course it’s also possible that Mr Moffat reads selected passages to them out loud, perhaps also drawing diagrams on the backboard. One has to be resourceful to be recognised as one of the world’s best teachers.

Obviously it’s not just Muslim schools that have such progressive curricula. But it appears that only Muslim parents have the guts to protest forcefully enough.

Others go no further than signing petitions – in fact, one objecting to the new D of E’s sex education guidelines boasts 100,000 signatories.

And in a rare show of unity with Muslims, dozens of rabbis have signed a letter protesting against this kind of mandatory indoctrination even in faith schools.

But Muslims don’t just protest: “I have had death threats and very nasty emails and phone calls,” complains Mr Moffat. Poor dear, I feel his pain.

Now I regard myself as a reasonably peaceful man, and I’m certainly not a Muslim, but if my child were exposed to that kind of subversive smut, I’d probably go beyond threats. It’s entirely possible that my trusted baseball bat would see the light of day.

(Incidentally, have you noticed that sports shops are doing brisk trade in baseball bats even though no one plays baseball?)

And, even if I chickened out at the last moment, I’d certainly take my child out of such a school, and I wouldn’t care what the consequences might be.

One can only wonder how people managed to sort out their amorous lives during the millennia that had passed before we were blessed with sex education, homo- or heterosexual.

I don’t think mankind had done too badly in that department, even when left to its own vices and devices. Still, there’s always room for improvement.

If persuasive evidence existed, showing that there’s a genuine problem with children learning about such matters not at primary school but as they go through life, and that sex education solved that problem, I’d be all for it.

Yet no such evidence exists, and neither is anyone out to gather it. For teaching little tots graphic facts about every perversion known to man isn’t pedagogic. It’s political and cultural.

Our governing elite feels a fanatical urge to drive the remaining few nails into the coffin of every certitude that has sustained our civilisation for millennia. Nothing is sinful or perverse any longer – other than saying that sin and perversion exist.

What we’re witnessing is a rapid escalation of a global war on the last dwindling pockets of Christendom, and the likes of Mr Moffat, MBE, are in the vanguard of the shock troops.

One thing I can say for him is that he isn’t driven by pecuniary motives. Should Mr Moffat win his million, he charitably plans to use the money to spread the No Outsiders programme around the world.

On balance, I’d rather he bought a nice, tastefully decorated house and retired to it. Since the prize on offer is in dollars, may I suggest Northern California?