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Another miscarriage of justice, another stillborn verdict

Two drunk animals, aged 25 and 22, launched an unprovoked attack on two men outside a pub. Having knocked one of them out cold, they then rained blows on the other victim and, when he was down, kicked him in the head 18 times.

(You can admire their handiwork, or rather footwork, on this video:

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Save African migrants and win a valuable prize

Ed Miliband holds Dave personally responsible for the migrant crisis – along with every other disaster known to man, from the 1346-53 Black Death onwards.

The case for Dave’s complicity in the spread of the deadly medieval contagion is a bit short on evidence, but his guilt in the Mediterranean disaster is indeed easier to establish.

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Is an Aussie better than a Somali?

This question can be answered on many different levels, and at the highest level it shouldn’t even be asked.

There is no difference, a believer would say. Neither one is better. We are all equal before God. St Peter decides whether or not to open the pearly gates on criteria other than national origin.

Having established this indisputable fact, only a silly ideological fanatic will then infer that hence we also ought to be all equal before the agency called UK Visas and Immigration (UKVI for short).

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Good to see that French Muslims don’t discriminate

Their gun attacks on kosher supermarkets, non-stop desecrations of Jewish cemeteries, along with regular oral or physical assaults on conspicuously Jewish passers-by, have made me think that French Muslims have channelled their passions into a single, anti-Semitic conduit.

That saddened me, for such narrow-mindedness betokens discrimination, which – in whatever meaning we use the word – has not only universally risen to the rank of an eighth deadly sin but has in fact trumped the other seven.

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If I were an ayatollah, I’d feel slighted

Putin has finally decided to supply the S-300s to Iran, thereby expecting gratitude from the aytollahs and indignation from… well, just about everyone else.

Both his expectations have been fulfilled, but the ayatollahs have reasons to be upset too.

Fair enough, the S-300, the world’s first fully automated AA missile system, is a fine weapon. But it was developed in 1979, when the Soviet Union was still alive and kicking.

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Neuberger trials

My problems with Lord Neuberger start with his title, President of the Supreme Court. Next we’ll call our MPs congressmen, our Lords senators and let our defendants take the Fifth.

The Supreme Court was created in 2005, when it usurped the judicial functions of the House of Lords, a system that had worked perfectly well for half a millennium at least. But hey, what’s a few centuries of tradition among friends? Life would be dull without a spot of constitutional vandalism.

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If there’s one thing that can turn me off Ukip…

A friend of mine has forwarded an e-mail he received from a Ukip supporter of Putin.

This saddened me, since enthusiasm for perverse Russian regimes reflects the kind of moral and intellectual failure that traditionally has been the preserve of the left.

Now Ukip, the flag-bearer of conservatism in Britain, is trying to encroach on the territory signposted by several generations of ‘useful idiots’.

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A grovelling plea to Ukip

Our non-conservative Conservatives (otherwise known as the Tory party) can sense that the gravy train of power may just depart without them on board.

Why-oh-why, they wring their hands, does every poll point at a hung parliament and a likely Labour-SNP coalition? Haven’t the Tories done well for the economy? Doesn’t the public – even Labour public! – find Miliband to be an unfunny joke? So why?!?

It’s so simple, chaps, that even you should be able to understand it. British conservatives feel no kinship with today’s Conservative party.

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David Starkey isn’t a real homosexual

A good friend has solicited my opinion on David Starkey, and for once I had none to offer.

I never watch ‘serious’ programmes on TV, precisely because the modifier invariably requires quotation commas. Moreover, frequent presence on TV tends to put me off a chap’s other activities, such as his books.

Hence my ignorance of Dr Starkey’s work and life story, beyond the more salient details that even those who don’t watch much TV can’t fail to absorb from ambient air.

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The Turks have the nerve to protest

Pope Francis described the 1915 slaughter of Armenians in Turkey as genocide, which is exactly the right word to use.

Yet the Turks are up in arms, screaming spurious objections to their little peccadillo being described that way. The number of 1.5 million victims on which most historians agree is an overestimate, they claim in their defence.


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