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Church leaders meet in secret ecumenical conference – exclusive report

The other day the leaders of three apostolic confessions, Catholic, Russian Orthodox and Anglican, met at an undisclosed location to discuss the pressing issues of the day.

In true ecumenical spirit they invited a lapsed Lutheran, Frau Angela Merkel (hereinafter AM) to chair the conference.

I can’t in all conscience name the participant who has kindly let me have the transcript of the meeting, for such disclosure would be most unethical. But thank you, Angie, all the same.

So here it is.

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The C of E: leftists at prayer

Our established Church used to be called the Tory party at prayer. No more.

The prayer part of it has been debauched by female priesthood and, to crown it all, episcopate.

And as to the Tory bit, the Church is firmly positioning itself on the left of the political spectrum. (So is much of today’s Tory party, but this is beside the point.)

As far as I know, the bishops haven’t endorsed any party yet. They have, however, proposed the full gamut of loony left policies.

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Europaführer Angie triumphs again – twice

Two days ago I wrote a piece whose message was summed up in its title: “There will be no Grexit.”

At that time international economists were demonstrating, calculators in hand, that it was economically impossible for Greece to stay in the Eurozone definitely, and in the EU probably.

And Angie was saying Nein to any new deal with the unshakeable resolve of a virgin who really means Ja but doesn’t want to appear easy.

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There will be no Grexit

The Greek defence minister has thrown his toys out of the pram. “Daddy!” he screamed, “if you don’t give me another chocolate, I’ll ask Mummy!”

For Daddy, read Angie, the sex-defying father figure of the EU.

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What do the French know that we don’t?

This morning I saw two muscular lads unloading a couple of cases of wine from a Bibendum van. The task wasn’t unduly arduous, and they chatted on the way from the van to the door.

When I came up closer, I realised they were French – if we discard the counterintuitive proposition that the wine-delivery trade attracts young Englishmen who can speak foreign languages to a native standard.

Actually, by the looks of it, this or any other trade doesn’t attract any young Englishmen at all, polyglot or other.

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Another nauseating encomium of Putin

Tony Brenton’s article The Putin I Know Isn’t Going to Take on Nato can only be properly understood with the benefit of the Russian proverb ‘No one lies like an eyewitness’.

In his former capacity of British ambassador, Mr Brenton met Putin a few times. Those encounters supposedly gave this typical public self-servant some deep insights into the current situation in the Ukraine.

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Munich Mk II is on the cards

For Angela Merkel, read Neville Chamberlain. For François Hollande, read Edouard Daladier. For Moscow 2015, read Munich 1938.

For the Munich Agreement, read… Well, there’s the snag.

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The plot is sickening

Here’s your starter for ten: what’s the biggest problem with our education?

Could it be that a fifth of all Brits struggle to read a medicine label or use a chequebook? No, of course not.

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Perhaps His Grace would be happier flogging oil again

Justin Welby has set out to prove that female bishops aren’t the sole source of trouble in the C of E. Male archbishops are making a telling contribution too.

First he came out in defence of Stephen Fry, who got a bit of criticism for describing God, among other choice epithets, as ‘utterly evil, mean-minded, stupid and utterly monstrous’.

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My thanks to Stephen Fry

We all like to see our views vindicated, and hence my gratitude to the newlywed comedian cum talk show host.

About a fortnight ago I wrote that, whenever atheists talk about God, “they are absolutely guaranteed to sound stupid and vulgar, no matter how clever they are otherwise.”

I doubt that Mr Fry is among my regular readers, because if he were he would have had an apoplexy a long time ago. So it was thanks to one of those blessed serendipities that he set out to prove me right.


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