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I now pronounce you a man and two wives

In its support of three-way marriages, the Green Party is ahead of its time, though not by much.

The party leader Natalie Bennett says she’s open to the idea, as she’s no doubt open to many other ideas that she hasn’t yet vouchsafed to public knowledge.

In other words, she is open to the idea of breaking the law, which still proscribes bigamy.

But I have to be thankful to Natalie for expanding my vocabulary. Turns out there’s an official term for such marriages: they are called ‘polyamorous’ and not, for example, triamorous, polygenous or polyandral.

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May Day, May Day!

What do the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany have in common with today’s France, Italy, Finland and most other members of the EU?

Quite a few things, actually. But the one springing to mind today is that they all celebrate 1 May as a national holiday.

Red flags are flying everywhere, just as they flew in the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany, if with different superimposed symbols.

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The Nazis were victims of Nazism, claim today’s Germans

It was 70 years today that Adolf Hitler killed his beloved dog Blondie, then, as an afterthought, Eva Braun and himself.

Blondie was definitely a victim there, and had the RSPCA had jurisdiction over the bunker, it would have had strong words to say about that act of cruelty towards animals. But what about the other two?

This raises the important issue of victimhood, both in the narrow context of that event and also more broadly.

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Russia strikes another blow for democracy (many blows, actually)

Comrade Stalin once explained, not without a healthy dose of cynicism, that it wasn’t how votes were cast, but how they were counted that mattered.

Comrade Putin begs to differ, as far as the first part of his idol’s maxim is concerned. How votes are cast is also important to him, if only to make the counters’ job more straightforward.

This week’s regional elections in towns around Moscow illustrated Comrade Putin’s priorities – and also his cynicism, which is quite the match of Stalin’s.

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How to have sex with a cremated husband

Every time I think that now I’ve seen and heard everything, modernity disabuses me of this smug notion.

In this instance, modernity’s power to render me speechless is reasserted by the Dutch designer Mark Sturkenboom, who introduced a startling innovation at the Milan Design Week.

It is a tastefully finished ‘memory box’ that makes sure that the heart isn’t the only organ in which a grieving widow can cherish the memory of her loved one.

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Yet another proof that feminism isn’t just wrong – it’s vulgar

Nigel Short is an amiable Lancashire lad, who once came close to winning the world chess championship.

Well, it wasn’t really close, considering that his opponent in the final was Kasparov, arguably the greatest wood-pusher in history. Let’s just say Nigel got closer than any other Brit has ever come to claiming the top prize in the game.

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Another miscarriage of justice, another stillborn verdict

Two drunk animals, aged 25 and 22, launched an unprovoked attack on two men outside a pub. Having knocked one of them out cold, they then rained blows on the other victim and, when he was down, kicked him in the head 18 times.

(You can admire their handiwork, or rather footwork, on this video: http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/buckingham-palace-guard-and-soldier...)

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Save African migrants and win a valuable prize

Ed Miliband holds Dave personally responsible for the migrant crisis – along with every other disaster known to man, from the 1346-53 Black Death onwards.

The case for Dave’s complicity in the spread of the deadly medieval contagion is a bit short on evidence, but his guilt in the Mediterranean disaster is indeed easier to establish.

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Is an Aussie better than a Somali?

This question can be answered on many different levels, and at the highest level it shouldn’t even be asked.

There is no difference, a believer would say. Neither one is better. We are all equal before God. St Peter decides whether or not to open the pearly gates on criteria other than national origin.

Having established this indisputable fact, only a silly ideological fanatic will then infer that hence we also ought to be all equal before the agency called UK Visas and Immigration (UKVI for short).

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Good to see that French Muslims don’t discriminate

Their gun attacks on kosher supermarkets, non-stop desecrations of Jewish cemeteries, along with regular oral or physical assaults on conspicuously Jewish passers-by, have made me think that French Muslims have channelled their passions into a single, anti-Semitic conduit.

That saddened me, for such narrow-mindedness betokens discrimination, which – in whatever meaning we use the word – has not only universally risen to the rank of an eighth deadly sin but has in fact trumped the other seven.

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