Alexander's blog

As our sensibilities become more acute and our sense of propriety more heightened, we refine and broaden our notion of racial slurs.

What in the recent past would have been considered an innocent joke is well on its way to becoming an imprisonable offence. In a parallel development, what used to be treated as an imprisonable offence, incitement to terrorism, has become a valid expression of diversity.

A friend of mine, a card-carrying fruitcake and swivel-eyed loon, may be British, but he simply doesn’t understand how this country works.

In his blog today he bemoans the tardiness of Woolwich police who took twenty minutes to arrive at the scene of yesterday’s massacre. Instead of being angry, he should instead give thanks that they arrived at all.

By doing so, our brave PCs put themselves in jeopardy. Even as we speak, they risk censure for at least three aspects of their action.

The death in question is that of Dominique Venner, eminent French writer and historian. After he made the news, bottom of Page 49 or thereabouts, the modifier ‘extreme right-wing’ has been inevitably attached to his name.

If Classical and Romantic music revolves around the tonic-dominant polarity, one gets the distinct impression that whoever writes on such subjects in The Times favours the gin-dominant polarity instead.

In general, the effrontery of our journalists in passing bold judgment on subjects with which they’re barely familiar is most refreshing. But whenever they display this tendency to enlarge on topics dear to one’s heart, alarm bells begin to chime loudly and discordantly.

A brave, courageous, gallant, valiant, freedom-loving, democracy-supporting [insert your own modifier] Syrian rebel Khalid al-Hamad has had to resort to desperate measures.

Driven to distraction by Assad’s stubbornness and the West’s meanness, he has decided to emphasise the plight of Syrian democracy-fighters by using every advantage of modern technology.

The Washington Post has published a survey by two Swedish economists bent on finding out which countries are more racist than others.

The survey asked respondents in more than 80 countries to identify kinds of people they wouldn’t want as neighbours. The Swedes then calculated the percentage of those choosing ‘people of a different race’ and drew earth-shattering conclusions.

More than half of his backbenchers have effectively told Dave his EU policy is rubbish, some in as many words. Add to this the growing threat of UKIP, now polling 50 percent higher than Dave’s coalition partners, and Dave must feel some drastic move is called for.

Call me a lowbrow ignoramus, but I like a good spy yarn – especially since the best purveyors of this genre can write rings around the pretentious stuff knocked off by our lionised literati like Hilary Mantel.

At their best John Le Carré or his American near-namesake Charles McCarry can match any contemporary novelist in verve, style, characterisation, psychological insight. They can also devise a complex yet utterly believable plot with the best of them (Mr Conan Doyle, ring your office).

Before running out onto the track, an athlete always stretches and warms up. Before going to his cello in the morning, Pablo Casals always played two preludes and fugues from Bach’s 48.

Devoid of either athletic or musical talent, I warm up for my daily exertions at the computer by playing a few mindless mind games. Polygons, codewords, crosswords, that sort of thing. This seldom shifts my mind into sixth gear, but at least it gets it out of first.

Tory backbenchers are swarming around Dave like sharks smelling blood. Dave was badly wounded by the burgeoning support for UKIP, and he has made the bleeding worse by his typical shilly-shallying.