Submitted by Alexander on 1 November 2013 - 1:33pm
Having despaired of ever harmonising the economies and cultures across Europe, the EU has decided to harmonise the bogs instead.
Thomas Crapper’s invention now must flush exactly the same way from Finland to Greece and everywhere in between. No more than five litres per cistern or three per half-flush, get this, you British wastrel?
Submitted by Alexander on 31 October 2013 - 12:06pm
Gen. Sheridan (d. 1888) once said, “If I owned hell and Texas, I’d rent out Texas and live in hell.”
According to Michael Burleigh’s panegyric in today’s Times, Texas has come a long way since then. By the sound of it, given the choice between living in Texas and paradise, Prof. Burleigh would rent out the Garden of Eden.
Submitted by Alexander on 30 October 2013 - 5:17pm
Sorry to be so rude to Their Honours, but how would you describe a person capable of writing this sentence?
“A child’s best interests have to be assessed by reference to general community standards, making due allowance for the entitlement of people, within the limits of what is permissible in accordance with those standards, to entertain very divergent views about the religious, moral, social and secular objectives they wish to pursue for themselves and for their children.”
Submitted by Alexander on 29 October 2013 - 4:10pm
Yesterday Dave visited a Mini factory in Oxfordshire, as one does when one has to come across as a man of the people who feels their pain.
He then made a speech designed to reinforce that impression. With UKIP breathing down his neck, Dave knew exactly what he had to say.
“You go round factories in our country and half the people have come from Poland or Lithuania or Latvia… But as a country what we ought to be saying is ‘no’.”
Submitted by Alexander on 27 October 2013 - 9:54am
We all know the instant knock-on effect propaganda can have.
Repeat ‘ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer’ often enough, and perfectly well-behaved Germans will start gassing Jews.
Devote enough column inches to Islamic terrorism, and no corner shop in the north of England will be safe.
Submitted by Alexander on 25 October 2013 - 12:20pm
By the sound of it, one would think Prince George was baptised not into the Church of England but into a lifelong subscription to The Guardian.
Actually, scratch that. Had that been the case, the BBC wouldn’t have mentioned the event in a little footnote. It would have been the first item on the 9 O’Clock News.
Submitted by Alexander on 24 October 2013 - 1:27pm
Say what you will about the failure of our public education (I know I often do), but in isolated instances it can boast of impressive results.
Occasionally it produces an amalgam of erudition and slight roughness around the edges. Both were evinced by a Royal Marine sergeant who, along with his two comrades, is facing court martial for murdering a Taliban prisoner.
Submitted by Alexander on 23 October 2013 - 11:21am
“But what is liberty without wisdom, and without virtue? It is the greatest of all possible evils; for it is folly, vice, and madness, without tuition or restraint.”
Edmund Burke wrote this in 1790. One wonders what he’d say if he could come back in 2013. Can’t you just hear him say it? “This is hell. Can I please go back to heaven?”
Submitted by Alexander on 22 October 2013 - 12:04pm
Don’t be silly: of course I don’t mean Sicherheitsdienst des Reichsführers-SS, the intelligence arm of the SS.
That SD is no longer in business. However, the German Social Democratic party still is, and it may yet save Dave from himself and us from Dave.
Submitted by Alexander on 20 October 2013 - 1:22pm
If you need any reminder of the abyss into which we’re falling, look no further than football.
However, if you do want to look further than football, you may. Why, you can even cast your eye across the Atlantic. You’ll find the same nonsense there.
But football first. Greg Dyke, the FA chairman, has put together a commission to pull English football out of its dire straits. Now he has been forced to make an abject apology.